Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
