I heard we made out
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
