The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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