are you still at the devil's house?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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