So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
