It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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