OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
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I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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