I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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