I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We're not piercing ourselves today.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize