took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize