I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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