You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
