I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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