She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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