i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
