Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
