This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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