Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
