We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She's the barista slut.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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