there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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