i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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