found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
