Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
