is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
