Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize