Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
