i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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