im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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