I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
