You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
