Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.