JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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