Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?