Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
