The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
