it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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