This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
