It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
