weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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