he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
