clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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