So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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