If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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