so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
