I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize