my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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