i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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