RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize