So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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