I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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