so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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