i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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