my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize