The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
