i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
