You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
