there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
