wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
