is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
birth control should be required to get into college
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
