You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
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No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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