yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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