My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
